Revenge

My grandma speaks of my younger brother
Like the golden child
Says he picked the right route
Because he serves coffee to yuppies
And saved twenty grand in the bank
I have twenty cents to my name
Dredge up shrapnel to buy new art supplies
And I sketch illustrations in blood
To make sense of it all
The paper can take my weight
My ex lover never could
She speaks of our relationship
Like an unbalanced seesaw
Says she tried and I didn’t
I’ll throw a dictionary at her
So the definition of “try”
Can slap her in the face
My mother believes in my creations
Like the way god freaks believe in creationism
Says I can change the world if I want to
Alter perceptions by giving them my guts
Never been one to hold a grudge
But I’m going to show them
Success is a sweet revenge

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Spent the day in a comatose
Tried to get high
But I melted into the floor
Below the cockroaches
Realise I am alone now
With only an aloof grey cat by my side
And I cry and spit and drool and smoke
Wonder what people would think
If it was caught on camera
And they watched
Last night stretchy smile and laughing
This afternoon curled up into foetal position
With a another joint in my hand
On the phone to a stranger from a health hotline
Realise I am alone now
With only an aloof grey cat by my side
And I cry and I spit and I drool and I smoke
Wonder how I am gonna get through the night
Wonder how I am gonna get through another night
Without you

Holes

Man,
What we do to fill the holes
Like the gauze that packs the open wound of a tooth removal
Fill em with antibacterial alcoholic properties
Fill em with a stranger’s cum
Fill em with pills made in a sterile lab
Fill em with a woman’s skin that feels nothing like your mother’s
Fill em with anything to get wobbly

Man,
What we do to fill the holes
Like the moth that chews into your favourite tee shirt
Fill em with stimulants that make your knees shake
Fill em with words by people who are dead
Fill em with only things that know how to grow
Fill em with forgetting where your are when she pokes you in the eye
Fill em with nothing

Man,
What we do to fill the holes
Fill em with anything and everything
You can get your hands on

David Bowie

I remember the day David Bowie died
Watched the world go wild with grief
Thought back to that lady I met in rehab
And the Ziggy Stardust shirt she wore
As she talked about him
Like my grandma talked about god
I remember the day David Bowie died
It was the day you and I died
Both filled in resignations with no weeks notice
Our hearts still worked overtime
With just a rushed wet goodbye
And a walk back home
I remember the day David Bowie died
Lied on the dusty wooden floor boards
And rolled a big fat joint
Sucked on it til’ I was glazed
And listened to him sing,
“You’re not alone, you’re not alone”

Free Write 4

There is this loneliness
Loneliness goes for hikes in Antartica
Antartica is just another name for heartache
Heartache keeps walking into walls
Walls are made to separate
Separate your thoughts into compartments
Compartments are for the nervous tummy
Tummy cannot digest your tongue
Tongues want to stroke your insides
Insides because there’s nothing on the surface
Surface level chattering is chewing on lettuce
Lettuce – so you don’t starve
Starve yourself of sadness
Sadness chews on vulnerable fat
Fat like you’re full
Full like you’re smiling

Free Write 3

Fairy lights making your eyes flicker
Flicker like you’ve forgotten
Forgotten breaths when ya thought you couldn’t
Couldn’t rise from the dust today
Today is the only wake up call you need
Need to remember to watch dusk on your TV
TV sucks on your brain cells like a lollipop
Lollipop doesn’t know how to stay whole
Whole is the moment your thoughts runaway
Runaway to the dryer filter
Filter your water to pour down your neck
Neck muscles need to get high
High when ya snort pencil shavings
Shavings of your mum’s dry skin
Skin to keep ya shivering heart in

Wisdom

When you can only hear cicadas
And gecko’s mating calls
When your mind is a rickety fence
Can’t keep the intruders out
And you have a guard cat
But she sleeps as much as you do
You can only swallow sunshine on days
Your foot slides under the door
And that ain’t so often anymore
You’ve got a lot of free time
You think so much when you’re doing nothing
Makes you feel like you’ve got a lot on your plate
Filling up white paper with ink dots
To quell the curiosity
Of what is around the corner of the mundane
And there’s these tunnels
That you keep sliding through
Looking for the illumination at the end
But you don’t find it
You can’t find it
So you keep fumbling through them
Like an atheist looking for God
And it doesn’t make sense
But wisdom leaks down the drains
With your housemates pubes
And you’re getting hair balls stuck in your throat
But they’re covered in wisdom
And there’s these tunnels
That you keep sliding through
And the slime is making you slip slip slip
But the point of wisdom is to lose your bearings
Lose your knowledge of how to walk on sludge
And there ain’t no light at the end of the tunnel
There’s just you still standing there in the dark
Choking on wisdom